There and back again

I braved reading the first line of the previous post; definitely not my strongest, most bold hour...but, I am pleased to say that things are looking up! Since then, last week sometime, much has transpired. The highlight must have been a pretty intense 36 hours, including a somewhat spontaneous trip us Sani Pass, and an overnight location recce in Loteni.

Sani Top was magical. The place has an ethereal quality, which I now more than ever cannot wait to capture on camera. What is exciting me most is how the contrast between the two worlds, that of the "Low Lands" (literally Loteni) and the "Highland Plateaux" (Lesotho), will read so strongly on screen. Furthermore, I think that shooting up there will truly create the mythical, archetypal energies I was always wanting to explore in this film. So, in essence then, we've found our "Old Man's Hut", which was always going to be a crucial location to secure, and there has been no compromise on securing this one.

The following day, which was Wednesday 12th September, we re-scouted Loteni, securing and consolidating the locations I'd already set down as potentials. Shooting on location as we will be, is going to provide many new challenges. But I also feel it will free us up in some ways, as the shoot will become a "shoot of essence". We can only use what we can carry with us over a distance of roughly 3km's (the average distance to most of the locations), and as such will very often be shooting almost on the way to another location. Nonetheless, being there at first light (we stayed over there), was fantastic, as the hills literally "come alive" for the first hour after sunrise, with a stunning, intense contrast being created by the long shadows, never mind the usual richness in terms of colour, provided by golden hour. So, much of the shooting will be done at these times, which will mean a very early call time for the crew....sorry guys!

Otherwise, we're at that stage when the final consolidation of all the planning needs to happen. Quotes are still coming back, (much to my dismay, as I tally figures), so now all remains is a few more rehearsals, collecting the gear, collecting the catering, heading off, and shooting the movie! HA! I make it sound so easy.

Perhaps one cause for my current optimistic disposition, is the rehearsal I had today. I met with Cobus and Bohyi, playing Reitz (the protagonist) and "The Old Black Man", respectively. It was really awesome to see the script take on life. It was suddenly real. No longer a concept in my head, or ink on a page. There before me were living, breathing people, undergoing real lived experiences. Now all that remains, in this magical process that is filmmaking, is to capture it on camera. But an additional element to the excitement, is that I'm finally beginning to do some of the creative work. Well, that's not entirely true, the entire process is creative. Even the "producer-like-deal-getting" phone calls are all a part of the process of turning the intangible into the tangible. But the point being, in a more specific sense, my creative choices were called into play, as we approached the scene from varying angles, trying different adjustments, working through motivation, etc, etc. Fantastic fun.

So, 9 days to go...but I now know we'll get there. Exciting.

The compromise consumes

Well, with 17 days to go before the shoot. Things aren't looking fantastic. Had a real "moment of truth" ...moment tonight. It was a real tense day today, not the kind of day you can cope with too often. Yet I say that, some hours after the panic has subsided (marginally), and realise what an incredible rush the whole thing is. I must say, this is a little novel, just processing it now, but I think half the attraction of filmmaking (low budget, guerrilla, as I've come to understand it), is the beyond intense risk and fear it involves. In an adrenaline junkie, somewhat masochistic sense, embarking on the filmmakers journey is arguably one of the most extreme things an individual can do.

It's funny though, it seems that in every film I've made (and possibly will make), there is this black, engulfing moment where you lose all hope and think "what was I thinking!!! This is so much bigger than me!?" And you just lie in the bath, with the water getting cold and a lonely moth causing frantic, ethereal shadows to play games of cat and mouse on your already plummeting constitutional strength. And you have a choice. It seems all directing is really, is a series of choices, in fact, that's really all that life is. Either you stay there, in the vain hope that somehow, you'll close your eye's one last time, and open them, somewhere nice. Somewhere removed and liberated. In a sublimely crafted Eden, a Paradise Found. Or, and it's a big "OR", you get up, release the self indulgence, and do something about your situation...

It's interesting, during a flurry of panicky phone calls to various crew members, to update them on the latest set-backs, I spoke to a team member who expressed nearly as much anxiety as me. Interestingly, this was the catalyst for my "recovery". Hearing his reservations and fears, caused me to resume my function as "team leader" in the sense that I really need to be the one holding it together and motivating the others. I immediately started explaining how things would be OK, and how I saw the contingency plans falling into place. This positivity really helped me to adopt some positivity, I guess it's true...you are (create) what you think about.

Anyway, enough of all this. Part of the reason for the low today, no doubt has something to do with the fact that I've been averaging 4 hours sleep for the last week. I've been getting 2am moments of (mini) truth...tonight being the culmination of these - I trust. The point being, I should quit the verbosity and GO TO SLEEP!

But, to update: Received the quote from the armourer (who was bringing 4 additional British soldiers in uniform). The quote was nearly half the budget!!! (No exaggeration), so am going to have to seriously rethink some things. Received the quote for the accommodation in Loteni. Basically the other half of the budget! So, again...going to have to do a hard sell, and try secure a discount. Evidently my proposal sent through, was not enough. Compounding that, I very nearly lost the location! In terms of the accommodation. The tricky thing is, we're shooting during the school vacation, so, it's getting relatively busy now, which makes getting a discount tricky. I luckily managed to book (at the expensive rate) the last of the accommodation! Would have been really shit if we'd lost that!!! I've also been really stressing about securing the transport for everyone...but think I've finally decided on the cheapest (if not most comfortable) scenario.

Let me stop there, before these realities slap me like a cold wet fish, and the magnitude of it all reemerges. Am adopting a seriously optimistically naive attitude, reminding myself "that it'll all work out for the best"...after all, it really always does.